TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
I greet, I hail, I salute, and I doff my cap. Though I ought not to, but due to the fear of being spanked by my very hardworking English tutors who dropped balls of sweat to instill in my valiant-fearless mind the fact that every good letter must begin with a greeting. I also see no reason in asking about your relatives, for I know they are definitely doing well as a result of your hard work (sorry did I just say hard work? - pardon that erroneous error of mine). They are doing well as a result of your filthy deeds in which you all feed on the fruits of our labour which our fingers disciplined till they fed our eyes with pride. Please whosoever you are, “Sire or Ma’am”, I don’t know, but I’m a billion and twenty percent sure I’m a man who has seen the wake of over two hundred moons. I have just one face (very black one), a nose just like you do, two eyes, a mouth and two ears, but most importantly I dislike CORRUPTION.
Grandmother used to tell me that “Only an ignorant Rat will raise his hands against a Cat to fight”, I am the Rat and you the Cat and I have to fight you. Why? You might ask, you are corrupt is my answer. Mind you I’m not as disobedient as you are or either unlettered or nescient, but my undiluted love for this nation has turned me into fearless for the sake of this battle. I need to remind you of the fact that we are also humans and we have a tomorrow, you should have known your actions and inactions has ridiculed us into slaves of poverty which angers me. Slow and steady but sure, you ruined our nation, desecrated our chambers of honour, bravely messed up the spick and span kitchen we all boasted of and happily left we the “masses” to wholeheartedly embrace the ugly predicament
Those big cheeked smiles meant for deceit and fraudulent psalmodies which you chant and sound angelic, seraphic and cherubic like that of our choirmasters in church (though not fraudulent) during your campaigns is what I want you to stop. I say stop for your campaign abracadabra of good, tarred and well bituminized roads has suddenly transformed into potholes alias deathtraps. The fantastic (and maybe cokistic) portable water supply you promised is the sachet water we buy on daily basis. Isn’t it? The rehabilitation of our schools alongside qualitative educational facilities which you said was very important, I guess you meant unimportant. You didn’t promise us black outs, but you give us day and night. Now you’ve turned us into citizens of a cosmopolitan environment enhanced by unprecedented poverty, slummy conditions, pauperdom, cultural scarcity and hunger. You did not stop there, you made sure this population thrive explosively.
I don’t want a consolation from you, your gift I shall throw back at you, and your kindness in an attempt to distract myself and warriors cannot work out. Those are just contrivances to Frisbee me out of your way. What I want from you is simple – just boycott corruption. Yes betray her, sell him. I don’t care about the existing romance, I decree like a military dictator (Abacha’s way to be precise) “CALL IT QUIT WITH IMMEDIATE ALACRITY”. Blot the gargantuan demon out of your memory, if he’s as big as an Elephant with elephantiasis, no qualms, we have men of God around – very mighty ones. They’ll cast and bind. Now pay attention, this unholy pleasure of yours needs to be eschewed. It is a must. You must constrain yourself within the ordinance of the constitution. If you belong to a sect which houses the corrupt, I order; become a renegade to its laws, if possible take others with you and be rebellious.
Conclusively, your corrupt deeds of the past looks unexposed, that of the present seems safe, and that of the future you have planned to keep safe. You think it’s as beautiful as the blueish glints of the sky or the blue haze of tobacco smoke. I’m sorry to disappoint you it isn’t. All in all, tell your friends, kith and kin to stop pressurizing you to embezzle public funds. Warn your aides to stop bragging about how corrupt they are, chastise them not pat their backs.
Thanks as you carry out my wish (is it even necessary?), let me wait till you carry them out first.
Yours sincerely,
Fijabi Omolaja
I greet, I hail, I salute, and I doff my cap. Though I ought not to, but due to the fear of being spanked by my very hardworking English tutors who dropped balls of sweat to instill in my valiant-fearless mind the fact that every good letter must begin with a greeting. I also see no reason in asking about your relatives, for I know they are definitely doing well as a result of your hard work (sorry did I just say hard work? - pardon that erroneous error of mine). They are doing well as a result of your filthy deeds in which you all feed on the fruits of our labour which our fingers disciplined till they fed our eyes with pride. Please whosoever you are, “Sire or Ma’am”, I don’t know, but I’m a billion and twenty percent sure I’m a man who has seen the wake of over two hundred moons. I have just one face (very black one), a nose just like you do, two eyes, a mouth and two ears, but most importantly I dislike CORRUPTION.
Grandmother used to tell me that “Only an ignorant Rat will raise his hands against a Cat to fight”, I am the Rat and you the Cat and I have to fight you. Why? You might ask, you are corrupt is my answer. Mind you I’m not as disobedient as you are or either unlettered or nescient, but my undiluted love for this nation has turned me into fearless for the sake of this battle. I need to remind you of the fact that we are also humans and we have a tomorrow, you should have known your actions and inactions has ridiculed us into slaves of poverty which angers me. Slow and steady but sure, you ruined our nation, desecrated our chambers of honour, bravely messed up the spick and span kitchen we all boasted of and happily left we the “masses” to wholeheartedly embrace the ugly predicament
Those big cheeked smiles meant for deceit and fraudulent psalmodies which you chant and sound angelic, seraphic and cherubic like that of our choirmasters in church (though not fraudulent) during your campaigns is what I want you to stop. I say stop for your campaign abracadabra of good, tarred and well bituminized roads has suddenly transformed into potholes alias deathtraps. The fantastic (and maybe cokistic) portable water supply you promised is the sachet water we buy on daily basis. Isn’t it? The rehabilitation of our schools alongside qualitative educational facilities which you said was very important, I guess you meant unimportant. You didn’t promise us black outs, but you give us day and night. Now you’ve turned us into citizens of a cosmopolitan environment enhanced by unprecedented poverty, slummy conditions, pauperdom, cultural scarcity and hunger. You did not stop there, you made sure this population thrive explosively.
I don’t want a consolation from you, your gift I shall throw back at you, and your kindness in an attempt to distract myself and warriors cannot work out. Those are just contrivances to Frisbee me out of your way. What I want from you is simple – just boycott corruption. Yes betray her, sell him. I don’t care about the existing romance, I decree like a military dictator (Abacha’s way to be precise) “CALL IT QUIT WITH IMMEDIATE ALACRITY”. Blot the gargantuan demon out of your memory, if he’s as big as an Elephant with elephantiasis, no qualms, we have men of God around – very mighty ones. They’ll cast and bind. Now pay attention, this unholy pleasure of yours needs to be eschewed. It is a must. You must constrain yourself within the ordinance of the constitution. If you belong to a sect which houses the corrupt, I order; become a renegade to its laws, if possible take others with you and be rebellious.
Conclusively, your corrupt deeds of the past looks unexposed, that of the present seems safe, and that of the future you have planned to keep safe. You think it’s as beautiful as the blueish glints of the sky or the blue haze of tobacco smoke. I’m sorry to disappoint you it isn’t. All in all, tell your friends, kith and kin to stop pressurizing you to embezzle public funds. Warn your aides to stop bragging about how corrupt they are, chastise them not pat their backs.
Thanks as you carry out my wish (is it even necessary?), let me wait till you carry them out first.
Yours sincerely,
Fijabi Omolaja
This is cool..
ReplyDelete